Bring your best self to light - February 2008
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Musings - Peace between your heart and mind: use your mind and trust your heart.
Last week I was working with someone around a decision he had agonised over for weeks: it was now coming to the deadline. It was to do with a job that looked really good but would have meant leaving the country he was in. Let's call him John. I had suggested that he choose one option and live with it for a few days and then choose the other and do the same thing. What was interesting to me was that he had a sense of peace and relief around one and still some agitation around the other. Yet, he still agonised. Why I found this interesting was that his mind kept going over and over it and arguing that the other choice was "better". He was constantly sucked into this argument with his mind. What was even more interesting was that he had evidence of previous choices of where he had listened to his head and ignored his heart and that had not led to very happy outcomes. I idly asked would he listen to his head only if choosing about a life partner and his answer was a startled NO! And yet, he still found himself driven and harried by his mind's constant yapping!
It struck me that we often feel as though we have to choose between our heads and hearts...when both have useful roles to play in decision-making. After all, it's useful to know the facts and to consider the possible implications of a course of action...while accepting that we'll probably never know all the dimensions. If one is looking to marry someone it's useful to know if they have been married before, have children, to observe how they act with their family of origin..and to factor your observations into a decision about them. Equally, if one has applied for a job and while it looks great on paper, there is a soft voice of questioning...that voice needs to be listened to and heeded. Our heart voice is the one that understands us the most and has our best interests at heart...it's just that its voice is not as strident as that of our head...it's often the one that most truly reflects who we are in all our quirkiness, imperfection, originality and brilliance. Michael Neill has a wonderful simple exercise about accessing this heart energy.
- Close your eyes, put your hand on your heart and think of something/someone you love
- Notice how this makes you feel...sort of a warm fuzzy around the heart area.
- Now ask yourself..."what do I need to take good care of myself right now?"
- It could be anything from have a glass of water to be kinder to yourself..
Too often, the voice in our head is the one of our parents/teachers/bosses/society and while it can seem persuasive it's usually focussed on keeping you safe and small.
Take Action!
- If you have a choice to make and your head says one thing and your heart another...experiment going with the heart option.
- Practise the simple exercise to begin getting in touch with what you truly deeply want...
- Say what you really think...next time someone asks you what you think...tell the truth! It's catching and liberating!
Now What coaching?
I'm planning to take on TWO new clients only next month for this process. If you feel as though you want a change but want a clear process that focusses on the WHO more so than the WHAT...this is the process for you...You can read about it here. You can also read more about the originator of the process at: www.laurabermanfortgang.com and www.nowwhatcoaching.com
Consciousness shifting
I'm still feeling thrilled about this work and having the privilege to offer it to people...
I'm offering complimentary sessions to all readers of this newsletter and you can read some more of the testimonials here.
"The 2 sessions I had with you cleared the longterm deep seated issues I
had internally. Unseen forces at work went on and clarity prevailed! Thank you.
Lindy Shearer"
Break Free The Brilliance in You!
www.lindyshearer.co.uk
It's very difficult to explain, as I proved when I tried to describe it to someone recently, BUT conscious shifting works. I was feeling really stuck about a situation and afterwards I felt much greater peace and clarity around it. P Connors
I'm also working with another consciousness shifting colleague to offer greater availability of complimentary sessions...check out ER (Eileen Ryan's slot)
If you have availed of your complimentary session and wish to book another one..you can do so here..remember there is a discount for readers of this newsletter!
Also, in the coming months we are planning to put together packages of sessions focussed on particular issues. So keep your eyes peeled for a survey with a prize!
Bits & Pieces - Guest Article - Slowing down the pace of life
This month's guest article is by Sally Lever. Sally specialises in helping people who want to downshift, live a more sustainable lifestyle..
Slowing Down the Pace of Life.
When you talk to a sustainable living enthusiasts, one of the areas your conversation may well turn to is alternative, renewable energy sources – solar, wind and wave power rather than using fossil fuels which we know can have seriously negative consequences. What happens when instead we focus on our own personal energy and think about what’s fuelling us as human beings? Of course we all need energy to live day to day. Energy helps us to get motivated, to concentrate, to act consistently and live our lives to the full. But where do we each get this energy from? What fuels our minds, bodies and spirits?
As human beings living in our physical forms we have a wide choice of fuels available to us. From the wellbeing point of view, some fuels are better than others. We can choose to derive our personal energy from those fuels that support our long term health in a positive way such as exercise, nutritious food, the love and support of our friends and families, soul food such as music, art, being in nature. Or we can choose other less sustainable energy sources such as adrenaline, nicotine, caffeine, junk food and anxiety. These may fuel us in intense bursts but ultimately put our health at risk. Like fossil fuels and solar power, both types of energy can get jobs done, but only one supports our longer term physical, emotional and spiritual health.
Have you ever wondered what it is that makes it so challenging to live with less of the consumer lifestyle and more of the sustainable lifestyle? I would venture to suggest that a major culprit is our addiction to adrenaline as a source of energy. Our culture promotes speed and as a result we live in a frenzied, frantic world. Faster is better apparently. We are seen as successful and important if we are busy, if there are overwhelming demands on our time, if we are so engrossed in our human “doings” that we have no time left to be human “beings.”
How on earth did we get to this state of affairs? For many of us, this is the way we were raised and so this has become a comfort zone – living our lives in a hurry, fuelled by adrenaline.
Adrenaline was never designed to be a major fuel. Our flight or fight response is supposed to be a mechanism used as a last resort for getting us out of danger, or the rocket fuel firing us to achieve exceptional feats. Over use puts our human systems under stress. According to BUPA, 80% of Doctor’s referrals are for stress-related illnesses. We have a tendency to engage in activities that cause an adrenaline rush because it gives us a sense of excitement. For example, working to short deadlines (ever wondered why they’re called deadlines, by the way?), driving at speed, eating on the fly, multitasking. It makes us feel useful, successful, validated, and indispensable. It gives us instant gratification. But frequent use of adrenaline causes a crash in blood sugar levels and depletion of our nutritional reserves. Over time this can lead to heart disease, diabetes, chronic fatigue states, insomnia, suppressed immunity, anxiety and depression.
Comfort zones such as this one are not generally areas of personal development and learning. The reason they are comfortable is because they are familiar, not because they are necessarily what’s best for us. We are too rushed to cook a meal, so we eat processed, over packaged food, high in calories, low in nutrients. We are late for an appointment, so we take the car rather than using public transport, cycling, walking, or sharing a lift. Personal growth involves summoning the courage to step outside and be challenged. To live sustainably, we need to remember to slow down and give ourselves time to be true to our values. We can only live sustainably if we are mindful of how our everyday actions affect our planet.
One way of slowing down, then, involves acknowledging that we are using
unhealthy sources of personal energy and deciding to change. It involves
recognising when we are operating within our comfort zones and how we need
to be challenged in order to grow. Then it becomes much easier to live a
more sustainable lifestyle.
© Sally Lever 2008 www.sallylever.co.uk
Sally Lever is a Sustainable Living Coach who specializes in encouraging and inspriting those who are downshifting or otherwise moving towards a more sustainable way of life. She offers one-to-one coaching, teleclasses in “How to step off the Treadmill” and a free email newsletter.
Zen Habits
Zen Habits: I came across this website through the work of Michael Bungay Stanier and it's an excellent website with lots of ideas about how to slow down, declutter and be more productive...and it's very calming too!
Cinderella with a twist..
John Connolly has an excellent blog...And another thing and in this entry he gives a modern funny twist to the Cinderella story
Luna's Letter
Are you a self-employed or career woman 40+ starting the menopausal and
mid-life journey?
Then you might be interested in checking out
Lucia Luna's website and newsletter.
Recommended - what I'm reading/watching
Artist's Way at work: This is based on (and co-written with) Julia Cameron, author of the creativity classic: The Artist's Way. It's a 12 week programme to help unleash your creativity at work. The two main tools are morning pages (3 pages of longhand on absolutely anything) and artist's dates..where you "play" and do something unusual.
Bad Blood by Linda Fairstein: A cracking good read (after the very disappointing Death Dance) featuring Alex Cooper in a story about sandhogs, murder and terrorism...in a deliciously complex plot
Gift Grub - TodayFM. I'm really puzzled why this has not achieved world domination..it's absolutely brilliantly funny..catch his extraordinary rendition of Bertie, Roy Keane, Daniel O'Donnell...amazing!