Bring your best self to light - November 2007
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If more is less, then nothing is everything...
The title of this piece is a quotation from Thomas Leonard (the founder of coaching). He used it as the basis of his "Absence of" programme...which challenged people to consciously remove something from their lives. This could include habits, beliefs, substances, clutter.
I have found myself thinking about this over the last few months as I've struggled with my feelings around my mother's situation. .
I have noticed certain things have happened. I have always been a driven person around work but I have found myself learning from my clients...many of whom after doing the Now What? project see work as a way to support their life...not the other way around. I now see work as valuable...but self-care, family and spirituality are a higher priority - not necessarily in that order.
I find that I want to get clearer and clearer about what is really important to me...so that my YESES reflect this...that I don't say YES to requests out of guilt, greed, people-pleasing. I want all my YESES to come from a place of love, generosity and enthusiasm. I've discovered that sometimes this can hurt people's feelings and I struggle with that. I also notice how I feel inwardly when I have been true to myself...I believe that being true to myself is ultimately for the higher good of all.
- Removal: I find myself asking what can I *remove* from my life as opposed to *add* to my life at this time? This has included stuff as diverse as learning projects, e-mail subscriptions, commitments. This is also a great way to deal with overwhelm...
- Support: I feel incredibly grateful for the support I have received: often from unexpected sources. They far outweigh the minority of friends/relatives who have disappeared during this time. I struggle to forgive and let go with these individuals. I want to "absence" them in the sense that they do not occupy my thoughts and when they do appear, I wish them well. I also note that I probably will not want them in my life on a regular basis again.
- Streamlining my e-mail: I had wanted to get the e-mails in my inbox to 50...I'm only at 150 at the moment...but I'm getting there. I find that I focus on whether or not I am heading in the right direction..
- Maybe means NO: . It's hard to say NO...but I have found myself getting stuck with commitments that I have later regretted because I have made a "mm, maybe, looks interesting" into a YES...which I have later regretted. So now I take time to mull over decisions...and make a maybe a NO.
- Simplify: For a long time I have been very interested in the idea of simplification...getting rid of stuff that no longer serves, putting systems in place to reduce time spent on stuff that does not give life. If this is an idea that appeal to you, two books that I really liked were: Your Money or your Life by Joe Dominguez and Simplify your life by Elaine St. James
Take Action!
- What do you want to say YES to in your life? What do you need to say NO to let that happen?
- What qualities are you going to need to develop in yourself to ensure that happens?
- What commitments do you have that make your heart sink at the thought? Can you let go of them gracefully?
- If you need to declutter, where would be a good place to begin?
- Notice that it's very counter-cultural to want less...so could wanting less be a way to be a rebel???
- What could you simplify in your life?
Master Your Money
This is now in the form of an e-book which you can check out here.
Consciousness shifting
I've been offering complimentary sessions to all readers of this newsletter and you can read some of the testimonials here. Here is a more recent one:
Anne was skilful in creating a space and a solid connection with me. It was almost as if we were in the same room, rather than miles apart over a phone connection. I felt her strong empathy, and was able to relax easily. She enabled me to release a large weight of fear - this fear left me as if it was a shadow becoming detached from me half way through the session. I felt it go, and was immediately lighter, and relieved as I had not been able to move this fear following a road accident several years ago. She also identified an incident in my childhood, without knowing anything about this previously. After my emotions had settled (a week or so, during which I felt changes were happening within myself) I realised that I felt quite different. The most notable thing was a feeling of peacefulness and contentment, and instead of waking and feeling fear, I awoke with a feeling of gratitude and happiness, all thanks to Anne's skill with this remarkable technique. She has made a huge difference to my life - because of her skill I am starting to move forward again. Catherine Stratta www.coachingwithrespect.com
I'm still offering complimentary sessions for this and you can now book it online. If you have availed of your complimentary session and wish to book another one..you can do so here..
Bits & Pieces -
If you are in Galway, check out Charlie Byrne's second hand bookshop...great bargains always to be found. I love doing an occasional clear-up of my bookshelves, getting credit there and then enjoying choosing some new books...
If you have to write Irish (as I do quite frequently) and want to check that you are using the correct tuiseal gineadach (you know who you are!), check out www.focal.ie . It's an excellent online Gaelic dictionary...
Recommended - what I'm reading
Eternal Echoes: Celtic Reflections on our yearning to belong by John O'Donohue. I remember reading his Anam Cara book about 5 years ago and wondering what all the fuss was about. I read his book on beauty about a year ago and have been hooked ever since. This is a wonderful book, beautifully written. I found this quote "When we receive the courage to stand gracefully in the place of pain, we mediate for others the gifts that help heal their torment" (p163) deeply moving...
Lou Perlman series: Campbell Armstrong: If you like your detectives unglamourous and gritty, this series is for you. It's set in Glasgow. The main character (Lou Perlman) is a Jew living in Egypt who is in love with his brother's wife. If you like Ian Rankin, you will probably enjoy this series.