Bring your best self to light - February 2007
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BE.DO.HAVE...LIKE.NO.OTHER
In the January edition of this ezine, I broadcast my intention to really focus on self-acceptance and being willing to throw a light on the more hidden sides of myself. The last month has been quite amazing really in terms of my own inner shifts. What have I noticed?
- Noticing my inner critic...and noticing what people trigger it, what family members and friends press my buttons. And noticing that I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT! Also discovering that most of it is in my head. OK, OK. it's ALL in my head!
- Feeling sad that I've let my view of other people's opinions control what I've done and not done...
- Acknowledgement that yes, I am impulsive. That's probably why I married someone thinks through every situation - sometimes to the point of paralysis...hey, maybe he could learn something from me!
- Greater acceptance of others. I notice now that I get triggered less by other people's behaviour...even people that used to really drive me nuts...I did say LESS..I still have to dig deep if I'm stuck behind really s-l-o-w drivers...
- Noting that yes I can be condescending, arrogant, a victim, martyred...but also that I can be kind, generous, funny and enthusiastic.
- Being amazed by the synchronicity that has brought people into my life who can really help me with this...like the database workshop that I'm going on in a couple of weeks time.
- Less tolerance for rubbish: I find myself getting really antsy if I begin to watch rubbish on TV or listen to one of the utterly dreary talk shows on radio...I mean does everyone who comes on these shows come with a set of pre-set messages?
- Noticing my eating habits: becoming more aware of when I eat for hunger and when I eat because I'm bored/annoyed/need a reward. I've actually lost weight...although I'd still survive for a while in the desert <g>
- Feeling greater compassion for very negative people but also knowing that I am finding it more and more difficult to be around them for a long time.
And things have begun to happen in the outside world too..things fall into place very easily. New business has come in from a number of surprising sources..
So, I'm getting proof in my own life that the "be.do.have" paradigm mentioned in the heading works...As Mahatma Gandhi said; "be the change you want to see in the world". And as for like.no.other...well, I've chosen that because it's a phrase I really like from George Michael's song Flawless...and guess what I just like.the.idea
Take Action!
Can you think of the worst possible thing about yourself...the one thing you've only told to one or two people if anyone? Note your fear, disgust, and resistance: without judgement.
Now, imagine that someone else has told you that they have done exactly the same thing...in the same circumstances...is your reaction any different? is it understanding, more compassionate? Now can you bring that understanding and compassion to yourself? Can you tell someone your secret...even if it's just writing down on a piece of paper? Can you forgive yourself?
(Remember both Peter and Judas betrayed Jesus (Peter did it 3 times...) but the difference was that Peter admitted it and asked for forgiveness...)
What is the thing you most admire in other people? Who are the people you admire and what do you admire in them? Can you imagine yourself with those same qualities? The chances are that you have them if you can see and admire them in others...
Now What? Coaching Group
Well, much to my delight, it looks as though this group has filled up! And I've also had several enquiries from other people..the dates/times doesn't suit them so I'll probably be running another one in the next couple of months. Just a quick reminder...it's for people who want to find a new direction..and it's based on the work of Laura Berman Fortgang.
I'm really looking forward to working with this new group. I wish I could tell you how thrilled I am when I see my clients acknowledging WHO they really are, courageously making changes both inside and out, beginning to realise that they've been given their dream for a reason..to make it a reality in their lives...
If you are interested in joining the next coaching group...let me know and I'll put you on the list and keep you posted...in fact I nearly have enough for a second coaching group...but if you are interested..let me know.
Holiday location recommendation
Last December I was part of a team delivering a course in a place called Bad Aussee (outside Salzburg). We stayed in a guest house which is part of a guest house chain called www.jfgh.at . Bad Aussee is spectacularly beautiful anyways...think huge mountains, utterly still lakes, superb scenery. The food and accommodation was first rate and I think it would be an ideal location for a family holiday...they also have many beautiful walking paths (we went on one very that went around a lake...all for research of course!) But well worth checking out..
Recommended - what I'm reading/listening to
I love the work of Elizabeth George...she writes complex, multi-faceted detective novels. These feature the same characters over a number of novels (which I always enjoy). It allows you to get to know them, enjoy them in depth...and the writing is superb...
So I had heard about the adaptation with some trepidation...particularly what would happen with Barbara Haver's character (in the book she is the sidekick of Thomas Lynley who has an aristocrastic background. She on the other hand, is vehemently working class and is both physically unattractive and bolshy..but a great police officer and a very decent human being). She has been captured well by Sharon Small. Well worth checking out..
Another blast from the past this time. This was a sci-fi series from the 1980's (ok, ok, late 1970's). I absolutely adored it at the time...particularly, brilliant, arrogant Avon who played the role of their resident genius. It was about a group of 7 led by Blake who were leading a rebellion against the Federation and who had managed to get an incredibly technologically advanced ship. Now, on viewing 30 years later...the actual production values are almost comic...serious special effect budget issues on this series! But my 11 year old son absolutely loves it...his current treat is for me and him to sit down and watch it.. Also, the ideas in it are still interesting and the dialogue has (mostly) stood the test of time..
Power vs Force - David Hawkins
This book is fascinating. It explores the differences between power (raised consciousness, goodness, spiritual power) and force (violence, oppression and domination over others). He posits the idea that kinesiology is a fail safe method for identifying the truth/power of any idea/person. Kinesiology (as he defines it)is the science of muscle testing (for example if you hold sugar in your hand, someone else can easily force down your arm...). He uses a calibration scale to measure consciousness...85% of the world's population are below 200 (1000 is the maximum). At 200, individuals choose responsibility for their actions. Saints/great spiritual leaders are at 700 plus.
For me, one of his most fascinating ideas is that if any one person raises their level of consciousness...that has a profound effect on everyone. It's somewhat akin to the positive effect having a very successful person in a community has....But raising your consciousness affects not only you, but your community, the world and the people who come after you. I think the most poignant example of that is in alcoholic families: Alcoholics devastate not only themselves but their own families and generations after. In the same way, if we can break a family pattern of guilt/violence/bitterness we are doing it not only for ourselves...but for generations yet unborn...a powerful motive to change. David Hawkins makes the point that real lasting change can only come from a solution with a spiritual dimension...perhaps something our leaders need to consider..
Consciousness Shifting
As I've mentioned in a couple of my e-mails I've been doing some work with a consciousness shifting coach which has really been useful...so much so that I am planning to go on their Rockit Database weekend on 17/18 February. You can check out their work at: www.karenvizer.com