Bring your best self to light
Why negative feedback can raise performance...
During August I went to Antwerp to deliver a test course as part of the European project I'm involved in. It's called Stars under the Cobblestones and you can read about it at www.unec.eu.com . We are a group from Ireland, Austria, Belgium, Romania and Finland...a microcosm of Europe! It was a challenge for me in a number of ways. First of all, as a group we had never delivered a course together and it was years since I had worked as part of a team (and that had not been an experience I had wanted to repeat).
However I knew our team spirit was really strong and the people were top-notch. I found myself wobbling a bit in the beginning as I tried to adjust to my co-tutor's style...quite different from my own. Feedback was not good. My co-tutors critiqued my style and approach. The learners complained about the structure of exercises and how things were not what they expected. I felt upset and hurt at the negative feedback, feeling rather vulnerable and tearful. I decided to let myself feel these feelings, fearing that I wasn't "good enough". I cried and railed against the "injustice" of the feedback. I wallowed copiously in self-pity. I then found a ferocious determination to do my best and to "die" with all guns blazing, giving it my best. (Just a bit over-dramatic there huh!)
Over the next few days I decided to just be myself and teach in a way that felt authentic to me. I spoke as truthfully and as honestly as I could in my training. I used my humour to deflect conflict. I took risks in sometimes stepping a bit beyond the brief and it worked. I asked uncomfortable questions. Of course it didn't always work, but the feedback improved a lot. I now feel incredibly excited about the course. We will be delivering the next test course in December (Salzburg - Austria) and the first actual "real" course in Ireland in March. The plan is to eventually deliver this course to companies all over Europe to help develop the multi-cultural skills of their staff.
So what did I learn?
Sometimes you need the sting of negative feedback to really up your performance. Another thing is the source. I really respected the opinions of the people I got feedback from...to be honest, if it was from people whose opinion I didn't value...I probably would have winced a bit when I heard it but ignored it. ...I also learned that relationships come before work..
Take Action!
Is there a part of your life where you really believe you need to raise your standards? Are you willing to accept honest feedback from people whose opinion you respect and (after a suitable grieving process!) make the necessary changes?
Where could you take a risk in this area? If you will be working with someone on a project, what could you do now to build up a relationship with them now?
Master Your Money aka The Money Mistress:
This is now in the form of an e-book which you can check out here. £1 GBP from every copy sold goes to a charity in Cameroon.Guest Slot
This month, my first guest slot is from a coach based in New Zealand. I met Linder when we did training together for our Group teleclass training. She has written an article on Authenticity...
Authenticity – What Does it Really Mean?
By Linder Chong © Dec 2005
Who would you revere the most?
A corporate manager with a high paying salary and prestigious title
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A doctor
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A scientist
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A movie star or rock star
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Someone who selflessly helps others and contributes to humankind
Most people when confronted with these questions choose doctor or scientist, and the one with the highest votes, is someone who contributes to humankind. Seems obvious doesn’t it? Yet most of us chase the title and high salary, which is an obvious choice, and why not, until the day comes when we suddenly wake up and ask “What have I been doing with my life? What is the legacy I am leaving behind (apart from your children of course)?” And do you care?
Even if you are still intent on earning the high salary, what could you do that would enable you to express more of your values and nurture your soul at the same time?
Organisations don’t exist without people. The potential of an organisation to thrive successfully is directly related to empowering its staff. This means respecting the human spirit – focussing on people and not things. This brings forth genuineness and authenticity in how people relate and work together.
Why does it take a personal crisis for people to turn their life around then start to ‘give back’ to society? What if you could connect to a wider focus – the world or your community and get on with your own life at the same time?
You can live your life authentically by making decisions based on your values, your intuition, your spirituality – your soul! You still need the financial and material side for advancement. However this cannot flourish until you give it meaning through spirituality and values. This holistic approach gives added meaning and motivation to your goals. You become known for who you are and what you do – this is your authenticity and your legacy!
So how do we translate this into an organisation that can become more of who it is and how it expresses itself genuinely in what it does?
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Encourage and provide opportunities to develop people as people. Encourage staff to create good working and personal relationships which in turn affects communities, countries and the world.
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Find a balance between developing intellectual, emotional, spiritual and creative skills and using them in ways that nurture them.
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Recognise, use and acknowledge people’s skills. This helps develop motivation, loyalty and ownership of what they do.
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Treat people with respect. Listen, support and learn from each other.
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Donate time and money to projects in your community. You can build a solid reputation through being a respected member of your community through living up to your standards and ethics.
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If you are struggling in your environment, don’t give up. Instead be the change catalyst for your organisation by being the change and being a role model.
- Bring out the best in others and use diversity to create a new perspective or culture.
Don’t give up, be the change you want. It takes but a moment’s decision.
Linder Chong
Innovative Excellence Coach ~ Master NLP Practitioner ~ ICF Credentialed Coach
COACHING INNOVATIONS
Vision Innovation Passion Success
e linder@coachinginnovations.biz
w www.coachinginnovations.biz Sign-up for my free newsletter Agile Preneur
m +64 (0)210 238 9493
Articles
You can find a listing of my articles at: http://www.annewalshcoach.com/articles.html
I'm now a guest columnist for The Nation. You can read my most recent piece here.
I've recently attained Expert Author status on www.ezinearticles.com which is flattering. But this is a good source of articles for all sorts of things anyway..so why not check it out?
Bits & Pieces - Blogging
I've decided to get stuck into the blogging phenomena. So you can read my ramblings/musings/occasional flashes of unparalleled idiocy...no, really! http://www.lifelink.typepad.com/Recommended - what I'm reading
Kate Kerrigan: Recipes for a perfect marriage. I picked up this book in my sister's house knowing nothing about the book or the author. There are recipes in it, but frankly that wouldn't be a selling point for me! My idea of hell would be to be forced to watch cookery programmes from morning to night. It's the best book I've read in a long time about the reality of marriage. The reality that quite often marriage is about compromise, about acting lovingly without feeling it. But that it's all part of the strength of a long-term relationship.
Michael Connelly. If you have any interest in crime fiction. No, if you have any interest in writing of the very highest quality, read this man. I'm re-reading The Black Ice and as always find myself hypnotised by the quality of the writing and the fascinating complex character that is Harry Bosch...